我曾經愛過的一個人,小名叫小天. 如今,只能當這回憶是一場甜甜的夢,就讓我睡下去吧....

Sleepless nights

Today makes up a total of three sleepless nights since Sunday. I don't know whether I'm overexcited or there's just something wrong with me. I've wondered briefly if it's the bed...I feel like I've aged exponentially these past three days than I have my entire life. Great. I guess this is where I kiss my youth goodbye. So long....youth that lasted only four fucking years. I know it sounds vulgar, but honestly, I don't care. My body is wearing me out. I stared at myself in the mirror for an hour and realized that I'll never be as pretty as the other girls or as slim as they are now. Enjoy  it biatches, it's only going to last you for so long until the horror hits  you. So what if i'm bitter? I guess this is what it all boils down to. Maybe I'm staying awake to prolong my youth..or maybe I'm staying awake to kill it while a little bit of it is left. Sometimes I wish I were born fat and butt ugly so I wouldn't care about how I look and I can concentrate completely on what's on the inside. Othertimes, I wish I were a mean little bitch so it wouldn't affect me what other people are saying about me. I'm not delirious and I'm not crazy. Good thing I'm not talented or pretty enough for people to use that against me.

I gave Jumper(my pet rabbit) a bath yesterday, but he's still scratching his ears. I didn't want to wash his head because I didn't want him to catch a cold. I don't know if that was the right decision or not. Instead of him catching a cold, I keep sneezing today.

15lbs till my ideal weight.